59 seconds: Change Your Life in Under a Minute by Richard Wiseman – Summary With Notes and Highlights

📕 Book Summary in 3 Sentences

What can I say about the book in 3 sentences?

1. You have control over how you deal with hurtful situations through benefit writing.
2. Materialism is related to low self-esteem from studies conducted by Lan Nguyen Chaplin and Deborah Roedder
3. Kids should be praised for their efforts and not their ability.

🤔 Major Insights/Ideas

What are the major insights or ideas in the book?

1. Insight 1: Studies by psychologists Lan Nguyen Chaplin and Deborah Roedder assert that materialism is predominately driven by low self-esteem.
2. Insight 2: To encourage people to do more of something they enjoy, give them a surprise or small reward. I use this a lot. I become excited when I switch my article status from draft to published in Notion.
3. Insight 3: Since we mainly focus on ourselves more than others, we will likely underestimate our potential and overestimate other people’s. We can be successful as our mentors. They started just like us.
4. Insight 4: Getting people to do you favors makes them invested in you. It is an effective way to get them to like you. It can be as simple as asking them to bring you a pencil.
5. Insight 5: When setting up donation boxes (Christmas gift boxes at work), the most effective method is to paint them red with the label “Every Penny Helps” in white text.
6. Insight 6:If you are looking for someone to return a favor, ask for it as soon as possible. People forget.
7. Insight 7: When it comes to hurtful situations, it is hard for all of us to let go. One technique for letting go quickly is benefit writing. You write down what your hurtful situation is. Next, you write down the benefits you have derived from the hurtful situation. The benefits can be as little as a shift in perspective. Or the situation made you grow as a person.
8. Insight 8: Kids should be praised for effort and not their abilities. Children who are praised for their ability tend to develop a fixed mindset. They think they either have the ability to play football or not. Either being clever or not. Praising kids for their efforts forces them to appreciate the growth in trying to do something they have failed for the first time.

💬  Notable Quotes

What are your top quotes?

• In other words, to increase the likelihood that someone will like you, get that person to do you a favor.

✍🏼 My Personal Reflections

How has your life/behavior/thoughts/ideas changed after reading the book?

• I have changed the way I praise my kids. Praising them for their abilities has helped me encourage them when they fail.

💡 Actionable Steps/Ideas (if any):

• To increase our fundraising at church, I painted our Christmas donation box Red with the label “Every Cedi helps” in white text.
• I praise my kids for their effort, not for their ability. When my kids do well in school, I refer to their effort, not their natural abilities.
• As a quarterly event, I try to recount all my hurtful situations and write down all the benefits I can derive from them.

🔆 Book Highlights

1. According to research by psychologists Lan Nguyen Chaplin and Deborah Roedder, materialism takes root in early childhood, and is driven mainly by low self-esteem.
2. These findings have been replicated time and again. Almost regardless of the nature of the rewards or tasks, those who are offered a carrot tend not to perform as well as those who don’t expect to receive anything.
3. To encourage people to do more of something they enjoy, try presenting them with the occasional small surprise reward after they have completed the activity or praising the fruits of their labor.
4. It seems that presenting weaknesses early is seen as a sign of openness.
5. It seems that we focus on our own looks and behavior more than on those of others, and so we are likely to overestimate the impact of our situation.
6. In other words, to increase the likelihood that someone will like you, get that person to do you a favor.
7. The occasional slipup can enhance your likeability.
8. All told, the results show that donation boxes can become up to 200 percent more effective by being painted red and labeled “Every penny counts.”
9. Simple rule of thumb: you help those who have helped you. ****In other words, I scratch your back and you scratch mine. That way, we both have our backs scratched and all is well with the world.
10. Finally, if you want to get maximum return for your investment, ask for the return favor quickly. Or people simply forget
11. Benefit Writing – The results revealed that just a few minutes of focusing on the benefits that were derived from the seemingly hurtful experience helped participants deal with the anger and upset caused by the situation.
12. The results clearly showed that being praised for effort was very different from being praised for ability.